bedtime story

hey diaperbaby, I got a bedtime story 4 u:

once upon a time, #allmenmustdie.

I want ramsay bolton to flay this motherfuckering #diaperbaby just for making that comment. 

hi grandma

hi grandma

you can pee next to me lol jk

once there was a very dark time in my life. I was banned from facebook for a week for trolling target. it was right after target announced gender neutral toy aisles and the christians were in a fritz. how on god's green earth am I supposed to know which toys to buy my BOY son if they all mix up like scramble eggs? to prove my point that target is anti-god, I posted a photo of my son trying to breastfeed with his finger a baby ape with bangs. I don't want to know what sort of sick ~evolution~ subliminal garbage target was trying to imply by having a baby ape have bangs, but my son was trying to nurse it and it disgusted me to my core. if the baby ape had been in his proper aisle, the GIRL aisle with the rest of the childrearing suggestive paraphernalia, my man son would not have seen this doll and would not have turned gay after touching it.

not even once

not even once

I posted the photo of my son with monkey as proof of what gender-neutral aisles do to our children and I was unrelentlessly attacked by the libtards. the overzealous shitasses reported my photo for merely stating an opinion. guess the left doesn't like a little thing called the first amendement of these united states constitution. facebook told me I needed to change my name or prove "diddle" was my real, lawful name and they shut my facebook down for an entire week until I lazily photoshopped my name onto my ventra card and submitted it as legal evidence.

it would be selfish of me to deprave the internet of today's diaperbaby of the day merely because target was once tangenally involved with me being banned from facebook for a week so without further ado I give you today's diaperbaby of the day (!). brought to you by a literal diaper ad via Target Baby. wooooooooweee

target loves to do stuff that pisses off the lowest common denominator. little things like modifying discriminatory policies to provide a safer and more comfortable shopping experience for all their customers-- bullshit like that. target would remove genitalia from the toy aisle only to go on to allow any old genital to use whichever bathroom or fitting room it pleases. if you didn't catch that the first time, target has changed their policies so that MEN can use the bathroom with your DAUGHTERS and rape them. 

target ran a competition to choose the pattern of a diaper. hundreds of people weighed in on how disgusting target is for implementing their new bathroom policy. according to one diaperbaby on this post, target has already lost over 10 BILLION dollars from christian nutbags who cannot accept that genitals do not equal gender. these comments are funny and absurd because of how illogical they are. these are people who are suddenly CRAZED OBSESSED with the safety of their children (most specifically their daughters) in bathrooms. some argue that it's not about being transexual, it's about the people who will pretend to be transexual in order to infiltrate the bathrooms. the only thing that stops a bad bathroom with a gun, is a good bathroom with a gun. or something. these are words. words are words. this is a real quote I found:

a man can simply say he ‘feels like a woman today’ and enter the women’s restroom.

this rhetoric stems from pure hatred. these toxic pieces of shit are not a minority. in the wake of the worst mass shooting in america, a terrorist attack against the LGBTQ community in Orlando, several politicians responded by quoting homophobic scripture. when bigots feel safe and free to speak so openly of their hatred, we have a long way to go.

a call to all of our straight allies. we need you now. we need you to speak up. when your uncle or coworker or high school acquaintance posts that article about donald trump and blames islam for the massacre of our brothers and sisters in orlando we need you to be the one who tells him to fuck off. tell him that islam didn't kill 50 queer people in orlando, homophobia did. tell him that donald trump's homophobic hate speech, his anti-latino hate speech, his anti-muslim hate speech, words that he callously throws around for votes, are as violent as any gun. thank you.

--tom temprano

here they are, today's diaperbabies. the comments are not one single diaperbaby, but they are all equally trash people! kudos to the diaperbaby who made the same dumb joke multiple times. no one laughing, diaperbaby.

most of these diaperbabies are old, white ladies. WHO'S GRANDMA THIS?


sex w me... try it sometime.

happy sunday! wow what a week (rip muhammad ali). :(

I start a new job tomorrow and am so excited (and still recovering from my previous job) and the new gig is fancy and nice and cool and has air conditioning and I won't have to call the police on people urinating in the stairwell AND there is cherry coke ON TAP for FREE in the break room. fuck, I'm rich! $$$

let's start (end?) this week with a real bonkers diaperbaby of the day. have a seat in your hammock and get your iced tea ready, cuz this one is a doozy.

so the woman who submitted these screenshots explained that she met this hump on tinder and had an incredibly tumultuous 2 month relationship with this diaperbaby that still hasn't completely sizzled because he likes to pop up and say hello just when she starts to forget about him (FUN). he pulls just about every stunt in the book. manipulation, guilt, gaslighting, sends stupid meme to make light of abuse... the usual. she runs a busy restaurant and he is angry that she is busy, um, working at her job (db: BUT WHAT AB ME!). he seems nice.

this is just a teeny peek of their short relationship and it gives me so. much. anxiety. !

diaperbaby flips from being sweet and flattering to abusive and self-pitying within like, one fourth of a screenshot. it's a lot to take in. the strangest bit of background information the submitter told me is that the diaperbaby tried to guilt her to spend time with him because he was in an emotional state on account of his dad trying to stab him with the horn of an animal (?). like, what.

almost being stabbed by the horn of an animal is awful but so is using your abuse to guilt and manipulate the person you are abusing to care for and spend time with you. not today, satan!

somewhere in the ether, a boner deflates.

yeah. just a whole lot of NOPE. send us your screenshots and unsolicited dick pics!

r u single or wut

it #diaperbaby of the day! 

backstory: the submitter had unfriended and deleted this well-connected diaperbaby and his contact info because this diaperbaby notoriously runs the gamut of creepy --- predator in his behavior towards women (and men) and takes lots of liberties in being unapologetically handsy.

after months of zero contact and in the wake of posting drunken wine bar photos with his current girlfriend, this upstanding diaperbaby sent the following exchange:

db: I c ur having marital problems what up oh u don't remember me LOL so how abouts it drinks or what look I'm not going to waste my time if ur still giving it a shot with ur ex SUCK MY DICK OR WUT boner not going to suck itself lol but seriously why r u waste my time

special shout out to 'i can't tell from your facebook THAT I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN DELETED...' lol

snack u with my cock

SPECIAL DOUBLEDOSE OF DIAPERBABY! the fem rag lit mag facebook page blew past 1,000 'likes' today so to celebrate, here is a second #diaperbabyoftheday!

I don't like to double down on diaperbabies, I like to give people time to cool their loins because let's face it these diaperbabies are nothing but pure SEX. it is hump day, though, so let's go crazy.

I have been sitting on this submission for over a week because it is soooo funny. the submitter explained she had maybe 3 screenshots TOTAL worth of conversation with this hump. he gets right to it I guess.

how embarrassing is it that "do you want my meat?" was a) a thing that was said and b) met with a non-response and he STILL followed it up with a casual "what's up?" answer: so fucking embarrassing. I died.

but the winner of this post is the ultimate typo of 'snack' instead if 'smack.' I am not one to police typos but if you are going to brazenly state that you would like to smack a very aggressively uninterested stranger in the ass with your cock, perhaps check for hilarious typos first, BRUH.


womp womp.

womp womp.


quick poll! cheetos puff or original crunchy? FLAMIN HOT IS ITS OWN THING FUCK U. click to vote!

hmmmm that not v sexy

hey babby what up what you doing that cool sound good how about some nudes WAIT UR ON UR PERIOD hmmmm that gross thank for ruining my boner 

but seriously, do you think you can pull over rul quick and take a pic? lemme kno...


send us your screenshots & unsolicited dick pics!

love me jk you're ugly LOL

diaperbaby du jour! backstory: this diaperbaby made and cancelled plans several times with the woman who submitted this screenshot prior to this exchange because he has social anxiety.


~end scene~

every single line of this conversation is it's own red flag. I said it once I'll say it again #allmenmustdie

in other news, scientists say t-rex may have had lips. I DON'T APPRECIATE THIS GOSSIP


diaperbaby of the day! you send me your best (& worst) harassments, gratuitous sexual advances & unsolicited dick pics. I post. we all laugh! send your screenshots to

are you into weird choke sex?

life is weird, isn't it? you're at home enjoying a nice dinner when a diaperbaby chats to ask you if you are drunk, and then, if you like to be choked while fucked. life sure is weird, isn't it!

let me break this down for you, jerk ass jerks. if a person hits on you during a vulnerable time, say during a break up, that person is a predatory shit ass. typical diaperbaby move! said it once I'll say it again: all men must die. 



send us your screenshots! 

men share their joy with us

this diaperbaby is upset that a woman is offended by the amount of unsolicited dick pics she's received since joining a writers group on facebook. I mean, he has a valid point. if it's so 'offensive' for guys to go around sending heavily pixelated photos of their genitals to strangers, how on EARTH are men supposed to share their joy w us?! they. just. want. to. share. their. joy. with. us. why. are. we. so. mean. ?

send your screenshots to!


diaperbaby of the day! you send me your best (& worst) harassments, gratuitous sexual advances & unsolicited dick pics. I post. we all laugh! send your screenshots to